I question things. I question everything. Its just who i am, i need to figure things out. i have an insatible need to know. If i were honest its just my way of protecting myself. If i can figure something/someone out before they figure me out I can protect myself or if need be defend myself. But it never scares me, I’ve never afraid of not knowing, because it will come about eventually. But with you, its scary because I’m just not sure of whats next and that means it could go anyway, good or bad. its a risky situation. I just want things to work out.
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People always talk about the nics and scratches they get from relationships. The emtional scars the have from them. I don’t think its scars that people leave us with, but bricks and mortar. They leave walls so other can’t get to us.
Death came to me once. she was dressed in black with eyes as wide as the moon, milky black pools that covered most of her face.
Death came to me once and said “you’re not good enough”.
So I live on.
And I held her close as I carried her in my arms, and whispered one last thing before it all ended.
“I love you” I said.
she said “I love you too.”
Even then I didn’t believe it. Even then I heard the dishonestly in her voice. I wanted to say more, tell her I knew she didn’t, but it was a nice thought, that in the moment I needed to believe. So I held her close one last time.
Then I woke up.
Well now that thats over with lets get down to brass tax; This is clearly my first entry as you cans see from the title. Ya see I’m really not good with first impressions, and since I believe the first time doing anything is the hardest I’d rather just get through this first entry here and Jump in full till with the following entries. I apologize for mixing metaphors but you get the picture.
I’m not sure this Blog will really have a clear theme to it beside my rantings on the world around me. Comics and movies are a definite though. Also bet on weird stuff; I like a bit of the strange. Seems like a good place to end this, so I’ll leave you with this, whoever you are out there, Question everything and find the right eyes to see the world around you, your own.